Everyone arrives at the beginnings of self-work in different ways. Some may embark by choice, while others may feel like it is not their choice at all. Sometimes our lives may appear great to an outside observer, but there is a sense internally that things could be better. Other times, there may be externally visible events that send us looking for answers, that make it clear that things are untenable as they are.
Borrowing the language of famous mythologist Joseph Campbell, I like to describe the beginning of this process as “entering the forest” of self-work. As Campbell describes it, “we enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path”. Embarking on a path of self-work requires you to make your own path. Any paths that are already there, he reminds us, are the paths others have created, and are therefore not ours.
To be clear, entering the forest is scary. The forest is full of unknowns, and we don’t have any idea whether we will even be the person we want to be when we come out. It is so tempting to follow the clean, well-marked paths others have already created, and while leaning on others is helpful at times, the real work in self-discovery and understanding must come from within. It is also possible that our tendency to follow the paths of others only leads us back out of the forest empty handed.
I often see the beginning of a therapeutic process as standing on the edge of a dark forest, far away from civilization. It is gloomy, scary, with thick brush and strange noises echoing out of it, but that doesn’t stop you from taking your first step in anyway. Because the thing you need most in your life is in that forest, and you are going to find it.
Campbell’s full poem is below.
You enter the forest
at the darkest point,
where there is no path.
When there is a way or path,
it is someone else’s path.
You are not on your own path.
If you follow someone else’s way
you are not going to realize
your potential.
- Joseph Campbell